Category Archives: salma hayek

Salma Hayek is MILKING her Youth with a #TBT of the Day

Some 50 year olds like J.Lo do everything in their power to look as good or better than she did at her peak of scamming the world into buying into her being a Hispanic Sensation, despite not knowing how to speak spanish because that’s just how fake this bitch is whether her heritage is Puerto Rican or not…she’s a scam….

While others do what the internet allows us to do – and posts up pics of her when she was at her peak…..

Salma Hayek is all about using the tits for attention, a career in America….despite being rich before hollywood, after hollywood and not even because she’s married to a billionaire….

I like the strategy. Jerk off to the archive…because the current’s not as good. You don’t always need the new nudes from the bitches, when Old nudes do just as good! Tits today are tits of yesterday when in photo form…I’m a philosopher, I know.

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Salma Hayek TIts Out of the Day

Salma Hayek Good at Instagram

Salma Hayek is being brave. If I’ve learned anything from watching the Golden Girls over and over again over the last 20 years….it’s that an old girl should never look at herself in the mirror looking down…gravity does some shit and it reveals everything they are trying to hide like how old they are…so always fuck on your back on on all fours…being on top is the TRUTH serum you want to avoid…UNLESS you’re jacked up with face fillers and BOTOX like all the celebs are.

This is a celebration of Salma’s hair, with some gratuitous tits, thanks to her being from the “Old School” when being a celebrity was at the closest it ever was to being a sex worker…use the tits, cocktease the right people, fuck the right people, get a career….whether you’re rich or not…it was manipulate the weak little bitch producer who could never get laid before being rich…get work…and matter.

Now she’s married to a billionaire, so she’s just doing this to keep up her legacy…to keep it all up and running…her husband being a rich dude is for sure a cuck….they all are and having dudes jerking off to her like she wasn’t 50…and she’s doing it with the tits.


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Top 5 Moments From The 2020 Golden Globe Awards

The Golden Globe Awards were held last night in Los Angeles, and if you are like 99.5% of people you’d rather have diarrhea coming out of your eyes then watch the pretentious heathen Hollywood elites self-congratulate, make “woke” political statements, and generally just jerk each other off for hours on end.

And so us pious Muslim celeb jihadists have once again done the dirty work for you, and compiled the top 5 moments from the award show below.

#5 Katherine McNamara’s Nipple Pastie

Katherine McNamara sexy

Katherine showed why she is considered a classy up-and-coming talent by attending the black tie affair with her tit hanging out and a stripper pastie covering her nipple.

#4 January Jones’ Tits Pressed Together

January really put her “personality” on display by pressing her breasts together in a low cut red dress.

#3 Saoirse Ronan’s Side Boob

Saoirse Ronan side boob

Saoirse was fishing for more notable roles by flaunting her side boob. No doubt she received many private casting calls in the Men’s room stalls throughout the award show.

#2 Salma Hayek’s Clownishly Large Breasts

Despite only being invited to the show because she is sucking the dick of the French multi-billionaire luxury brand owner that was sponsoring the event, Salma showed no shame as she paraded around her new ridiculously over-sized Mexican mammaries.

#1 Ricky Gervais Roasting Celebs

No doubt the highlight of the night was Ricky Gervais ending his own career by absolutely roasting all the pompous pedophiles in attendance… And while we will certainly still throw Ricky off of the nearest building for being a flaming homoqueer, we tip our turban to him for using his years of practice to tear heathen Hollywood a new asshole.

Salma Hayek 53rd Birthday Bikini Pics

Salma Hayek bikini

Salma Hayek celebrated her 53rd birthday today by posting the bikini photo above, and swimsuit video below (reenacting the day that she washed up on the banks of the Rio Grande) online.

As if we needed further proof that there is a secret Zionist cabal that utilizes the blood and tears of Palestinian orphans for their magical life extension properties, then look no further than Salma Hayek. For as a 53-year-old Mexican woman, Salma is the equivalent of 196-years-old in normal human years.

Salma Hayek swimsuit

Of course Salma’s husband is the French billionaire François-Henri Pinault who has an estimated net worth of over 30 billion dollars, so she can afford to harvest the top quality fluids from the global elites’ child slave farms. Thankfully us brave and powerful Muslims are on the march against evil, and we will soon put an end to Salma’s Satanic age defying sorcery.